Visiting my Sister Anca… and a sad Epilogue
As my mother (aka "Poso") approached her 95th birthday, I wanted to do her a surprise and pay her a visit to Texas, USA, where she lives with my sister Anca. Jeanette was not very happy about it, as she does not like flying in general, and flying long distance in particular is a no-go for her. So I was prepared to fly alone.
At the very last, I convinced her to come with me. I managed to get relatively inexpensive business class tickets to Dallas from Bucharest (instead of flying from Vienna): the difference was respectable, we saved about 2000 Euros! And moreover flying from Bucharest made our schedule even simpler, as we were already there.
Travelling to Texas went relatively smooth; we had some palpitations at the airport in Bucharest as a lady at check-in insisted we can't fly without an ESTA visa, which we both had, but I could not demonstrate it to her as everything was done on-line. Finally she gave up, as the boarding was closing… There were no other issues at the Emigration Authority in Dallas anyway. I was shocked that they did not even ask for our passports, we were only ID-ed with a camera that searched (and found) us in their database!
We spent 10 days with Poso and Anca (see some pics here). While Jeanette was away with Anca shopping, I spent many hours with Poso. During this time she told me several stories from her life, some of them new to me. I recorded some of these on camera to keep them for posterity.
We celebrated Poso's birthday at a Steak House on 23 June. Restaurants in Texas are not something to write home about, but at least you can eat there some of the best steaks in the world. We all had fun, Poso, Anca, Stephanie, Jeanette and Steve and of course, I.
Then the time came to go back to Europe. It was a strange feeling, and I guess I was not the only one going through this. The last time I saw Poso was five years earlier at her 90 birthday; then, when I left, I was not sure that I will see her again. But now, at 95, it was much more improbable I will ever see her. She accompanied us to Steve's car that was about to bring us to Dallas, we hugged and we shed some tears… The last image burned in my memory is her waving us from the house doorway. I could see the sadness in her teary eyes.
A couple of days later, Anca called and told us that Poso feels not OK. She was admitted to a hospital in Frisco, TX with very low pulse due to a complete atrioventricular block. She underwent an operation to get a pacemaker implanted on 5 July. Even though her pulse improved, other organs commenced to fail and Poso would not recover (she would not even recognise Anca). In the early morning of 11 July she died peacefully while sleeping.
I have only fond memories of my mother. She made all she could for us, and I think I did too little for her. She stood by us through thick and thin, no matter what. I remember I was often ill until 7 or so. Not only because of the typical children illnesses, but I had a problem with my legs after I jumped from a tree that was a bit too tall for me at 6. I don't remember exactly what was wrong, but the doctors told my mother that I might remain impaired for the rest of my life, basically I will have to live with a leg shorter than the other. And they said it was not much it could be done. She was like a lioness and didn't let the doctors go until she found one that devised a treatment.
There were endless days and nights I spent in a hospital with both legs in gypsum, then another couple of months at home, this time with only one leg in gypsum. It was really boring, as I was completely immobilised, with pulleys and weights attached to my feet. I remember I received almost daily an injection, no idea why. During all this time, Poso was at my bed. She told me stories, she sang songs to me. Even while in hospital, she managed somehow to get a bed near mine, and this was not an easy feat. I remember once she left for a short while (10 minutes maybe?) and I was so upset, that when she came back I shouted at her: "you're an ugly one!" It must have been really hard for her.
When poliomyelitis hit, and the polio vaccine was not yet readily available in Romania, she worked all her connections to get it over the black market. It was an expensive affair, my parents paid a good monthly salary to vaccinate the two of us.
Now, as I am myself a parent, I know how it feels when your children disappoint you, or conversely, when they make you be proud of them. As a kid, I never had the time to appreciate all our mother has done for us, on the contrary, there were moments when Anca and I saw her as an "enemy" (and my father so much more). There were hard times in those years, but they managed to bring us where we are today. Thank you!
Rest in peace Poso!
14 Jan 2024